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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in K.'s LiveJournal:

Friday, October 18th, 2013
5:38 pm
Eight and a half years.
I have had this journal for eight and a half years. Which is approximately 29% of my 29 year life. And my goals have not changed. I have made no progress on most of them. I wanted to have my shit together by 21. Now I want to have it together by 30.

It's depressing really. A few things have changed. I sorted out my love life quite satisfactorily. I have an awesome kid. I have a semi-successful business. But I am still not healthy, mentally or physically. I still have no clue what to do with my life. I'm still disorganized and somewhat lazy.

Current Mood: disappointed
Sunday, September 15th, 2013
5:06 am
I am not dead
Are you surprised?
Saturday, January 1st, 2011
1:15 am
New Year
Happy New Year, loyal reader. ;)

Shane is away on business, the baby is asleep, and yet I am awake. But seeing as I am, I thought I'd share my plans for the new year.

January, I am going to get routines set up. A routine for the baby (who's a toddler now!), a routine for the housework, and a routine for me. I've been feeling very spaced out and lost. So back to the basics, schedules! If I always know what's next maybe I won't be lost.

February, I'm going to focus on healthy eating. I'm going to do a cleanse.

March, I will ramp up my exercise. I have a 12 week workout plan I'd like to try.

April, I'm going to focus on BeautiControl, the party-based skincare company that my sister sells and I signed up for but have not ever sold.

May, I'm going to focus on what I want to do. It's going to be a very selfish month.

June, I'm going to focus on my relationship with Shane. Make sure we're headed in the right direction this and every other year.

July, We're going to start trying for #2. Maybe. I'm not sure if I even want more kids, but if I do, this will be when I want. Also I will be spending a lot of time with Alec. If he isn't potty trained yet, this is the month.

August, I'm going to focus on finances. Things are okay, but they can be better. I'd like to buy a house sooner rather than later, and this is a good time to figure these things out (houses are cheaper over the winter)

September, I'm going to do major fall cleaning. And decluttering. This will be the month to rid ourselves of all the junk we seem to have collected.

October, I will actually carve a pumpkin and make matching coustumes for the family.

November, I will do NaWrNoMo or whatever the abbreviation is. I'm going to write a book!

December will be all Christmas all the time. I love Christmas, in a completely non-religious, non-commercial way.

That's the plan! Hopefully all this will result in a healthier happier me, but if not, at least I put in a good effort. :)
Friday, October 16th, 2009
9:24 am
It's my birthday!
I feel old :-(

I'm trying not to because practically everyone I know is older than I am.
Sunday, March 8th, 2009
4:23 am
10 weeks!
The first 10 weeks of the year are over and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything. Probably because I haven't. :( Will complain more later. I should be sleeping now.
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008
12:53 pm
Skydive
Written by Kevin Kerr.

James Sanders ... as Morgan
Bob Frazer ... as Daniel
and a whole bunch of other awesome people.

I wasn't sure I wanted to see this play when I bought my subscription to Theatre Calgary. The synopsis in the brochure read:
"Leap into an exhilarating celebration of imagination in the pursuit of the universal dream to fly. During an ill-fated skydiving adventure, two Vancouver brothers untangle the threads of their relationship before realizing the true impact of their leap of faith. Soaring above the stage with breathtaking aerial choreography, this production abounds with gravity-defying delight."

It just didn't seem fun to me. Breathtaking aerial choreography means, to me, and I imagine other acrophobes, that I will hyperventilate by the mere thought of what they're doing on stage. Ill-fated skydiving adventure implys that someone dies and there will be all the associated emotions that are so difficult for people to deal with. And Vancouver brothers made me wonder if there would be local, or gendered, references that I wouldn't get being that I am neither a brother nor from Vancouver.

But it's cheaper to buy all the plays than all but one. So my sister and I both bought the full subscription, and I neglected to mention my aprehensions to my sister. I didn't want to leave her there all alone, and I didn't know anyone who could take my ticket. So I went.

It was worth it.

The play opens with the two brothers mid-air, skydiving. The older brother, Morgan, pulls his "parachute" and "slows down" while the younger brother, Daniel, "speeds up" and "falls."

Why the quotation marks, you ask. There are virtually no props in the whole play, there is no variation in background, the actors are suspended for almost the entire play, nothing seems to change, but everything does. It has the etheral feel of a dream, when, in the middle, you sit down on an imaginary chair and it holds your weight, and you're left supported but floating in the middle of nothingness.

The audience feels the intent; we can almost see the missing elements.

The stage goes dark.

When the light returns, they're standing there, together, both unharmed. Daniel says he dreamed of falling again last night. The mind concludes that the falling was merely a dream, the scene drifts out of the conscious stream, replaced by the current interaction. The seem like normal brothers. Except the obvious point that one has become agoraphobic, and the other thinks himself a therapist and wants to cure his brother.

The plot is amusingly far-fetched but drenched in this realism that it can't shake. Jarvis the goth, the 7-foot tall internet date, Stretch Armstrong's inner goo, Morgan's never-recorded album covers. Unusual but not unexpected. Online daters everywhere have feared that the 'perfect match' they met online would be abnormal in some way. And how many kids thought about cutting open their Stretch Armstrong toy to see why it stretched? The banter draws you in as Morgan and Daniel go through the basement, and Daniel's conscious, in a playful, childlike (and a little childish) way.

Interspersed are dream sequences. Daniel's mind displayed in crazy acrobatics, 80's music, and a fantastic monologue.

Progressing in his 'therapy' with his brother, Daniel leaves the house, goes camping, and finally decides to go skydiving.

Remember the first scene? We're there, and the emotion hits. Daniel is falling, and Morgan is slowing. We hear the thoughts running through Morgan's mind as he releases his chute and tries to catch his brother. He does, but it's too late, his reserve chute doesn't have enough space to open fully. They're falling too fast, and Daniel slips from Morgan's arms.

All that attachment the audience gains throughout the play, it seems wasted at the end. A cruel trick. But then the theatre lights come on, and it's over. The applause is delayed; we're all waking up from another falling dream, this time as voyeur. The woman beside me is crying, my sister looks confused, and the applause makes up for being tardy by staying late. We begin to filter out, still quiet, feeling touched, maybe even changed. But like the scenery of the play we're unaltered, but our maleable perception thinks things have changed.

The crowd begins to split into smaller, more intimate groups. They start to chatter. My sister and I head towards the parkade. In the elevator we finally speak. "Want to go skydiving?" she asks.
Monday, October 16th, 2006
12:00 am
[ . . . ]
After thinking long and hard I've decided to make my journal friends only. If you want to be my friend feel free to ask.
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